Seriously, this junk is out of control. My inbox is flooded with messages for useless products. How do I filter all this junk mail? It's driving me insane.

• All I want get a real email for once.
• Hopefully one day this will stop.
• {Until then|{Until that day arrives|I guess I'll just have to keep deleting spam all day long.

Junk Mail: The Virtual Filth Bombarding Me

My inbox feels like a garbage dump/is overflowing with/is choked by spam. It's like someone is dumping/as if an automated bot is relentlessly pouring/throwing/sending digital poop into my virtual mailbox every day. Every time I try to get some work done/check for legitimate emails/enjoy a moment of peace, there it is: another {outrageous offer/unbelievable deal/suspicious message from some random company/person/scheme. It's enough to make me want to throw my computer out the window/delete my email account/scream into the void.

• I swear I didn't sign up for/How did they even get my email address?/Who gave them permission to bombard me with this junk?
• There are so many variations/It's always different/They use every trick in the book!
• Maybe one day I'll find a way to stop it/Someday they'll catch those spammers/Perhaps there's a magic spell for this problem.

Get This Shit Out of My Inbox

Seriously, enough is just plain wrong. Every day I get flooded with your stupid advertisements for things I don't even want. I've attempted to unsubscribe, but it's like talking to a brick wall. At this point, I'm just pissed off.

• This has gone too far.
• Get a clue.
• You've been warned.

Shut Down This Junk You Goddamn Pieces Of Shit

Listen up, you bunch of cretins. This read more spam/junk mail/crap needs to stop. I'm sick with your bullshit to scam/con/trick me.

You think you're so clever sending me this useless/pointless/worthless junk, but you're just a bunch of losers. I'm going to report/block/slander every single one of your emails/messages/schemes. So consider yourself warned.

• Go away
• Just stop it

Cease and Desist, You Spamming Bastards!

Listen up, you lowlifes! Your unwanted emails are clogging up inboxes and pissed off people. We've had enough of your junk. This is your one strike to quit this. Keep sending that nonsense, and we'll be forced to take drastic measures. Understand? Don't test us.

Get Lost With Your Annoying Emails

You believe you're so slick, sending out your garbage to every random person you can find. But guess what, jerk? I have no time for your lies. Get a real job or find a hobby already.

• Get Lost With Your Stupid Texts
• I give a damn
• Get a real job or find a hobby already.